Contrastingly, I HATE being forced to feel emotions that have anything to do with weddings and children. This is all about to tie neatly together, I promise.
I worked a long week at camp and at my restaurant job. Honestly, I could've been going to bed at 9:00pm every night and been a happy woman. But alas, job number two kept me up much, much later, while still needing to rise around 6:00am. So yeah, boo hoo, poor me. Whatever. My mother, a wonderful, kind woman, took pity on me, and suggested that yesterday (Friday) when I got back to her house from work, we go and see a movie.
This is my life in college #4,836,542: It's a bad idea to turn down a free movie. In high school, if your mother had said, "Hey girlfriend, let's catch a flick tonight!" which for the record, is not how MY mother tried to stay cool during my teenage years, you'd say no. Absolutely not. I would not have been caught dead at a social watering hole like a movie theatre with my mother at any point in time during my early teens.
But then, as my brother went off to college and came back on breaks, I noticed some odd behavior on his part. He went a LOT of places with my mom or dad by himself, places where all of his friends could potentially BE. What gives, brother? And then he sat me down and told me the secret, the big secret that all teenagers must learn:
If you are willing to spend time with your parents as you grow older and more distant, they are willing to pay for EVERYTHING. For example, you hit the mall with mom, try on a few clothes and outwardly lament over the fact that you are a poor college student and do not have the money to spend on frivolous items such as clothing at the moment. As you make a sad, well acted journey to disappointedly return each item of merchandise to its place in the store, Mom takes pity on you, and offers to make the transaction on your behalf, since she has noticed that you have desperately been needing some new jeans anyway. Cha-ching, ladies and gentlemen. Cha. CHING. This principle can also be applied to things that can deplete the bank account such as dining out and movies. And, my brother stressed, once we graduate from college and get real jobs and lives, this will not be acceptable, therefore we must live for the present. Respectable children DO begin to pay for themselves at some point in time, so it was IMPERATIVE that we lap up this golden, though manipulative, treatment whilst we could.
So probably in my junior year of high school, I got a head start on the "hanging out with the parents for the monetary perks" thing. Then I realized that I was over being an angsty teenager and LIKED hanging out with my parents. And I promptly said "screw you" to all of the friends that looked at me like I was weird for wanting to spend time with my family.
People can be jerks.
Anyway, still within the spectrum of college student who needs a financial break every now and then, I took my mother up on her offer to see a movie and was excited about it all day long, like a kid looking forward to a birthday party. I got home, showered, and waited for my mom to initiate the movie conversation. If you are not paying, you cannot bring it up, and you cannot choose the movie.
"You still want to go to the movies-"
"-YES."
"Let's see Ramona and Beezus. It looks so cute!"
"Um... yeah. Okay. ...Well...Let's go."
Not that I am hating on Ramona and Beezus. I read the books in second grade. They were an integral part of my childhood, and I enjoy remembering my childhood. But I was kind of hoping she'd lean toward Inception or Charlie St. Cloud. Though I should've known better. My mother doesn't like movies with action, complicated plots, death, or any human emotion that is not happiness.
So whatever, we go to Ramona and Beezus.
I laughed so hard in some parts that tears streamed from my eyes.
I was so moved at moments that I cried.
I loved this FAMILY. COMEDY.
What?
WHAT IS GOING ON? AM I INSANE? I AM ALLOWING MY EMOTIONS TO BE TUGGED EVERY WHICH WAY BY RAMONA AND BEEZUS. AND I DO NOT LIKE IT.
If you've read any of my facebook notes recently, you'll know that I detest weddings and the idea of happy families and children.
Okay, well I don't detest them. I just don't feel like any of that is something that I need to think about right now. Or even in the next five, maybe even ten years. I hate being made to think about children I might have, I hate that my heart melts toward them, I hate any thought that begins with, "Maybe at my wedding I'll..."
No. Stop it. There is no wedding that you need to worry about right now. I highly doubt your kids will be as freaking ADORABLE as Ramona Quimby, so don't get your hopes too high.
But then again... what if MY kids are cooler than Ramona Quimby? This could happen, that's all I'm saying.
Again, no. Stop. STOP FEELING EMOTIONS AND THINKING ABOUT YOUR FUTURE. I sincerely hope that the makers of Ramona and Beesuz did not intend to put my psyche through the ringer like this when they made this precious little film.
I will not be around kids for the next two weeks. I think that this is a good start on the road to recovery.
(Big sigh.)
Julia
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