"That's so gay."
Gay. As if "gay" = "stupid." As if "gay" = anything negative. It was a huge embarrassment to be called "so gay," and something was unfair or idiotic to the highest degree if it was termed "gay" by the masses.
What were we thinking?
Using words like "gay" and "retard" in place of insults or negative words is one of the worst ideas that is socially available to us.
It wasn't until I got to high school that I slowly began to realize that "gay" was in no way negative, and every time I said it in that way, I was being highly offensive. It wasn't until late high school, almost college, that I had more gay friends that I loved and held closer to me than strait friends. It wasn't until then that I became supremely passionate about gay rights... HUMAN rights.
High school. A time when we are ALL ass holes. Seriously, if you weren't a dick in high school, you have been either blessed in skipping that stage, or you will be a mean adult, because most of us hit the total and complete jerk stage in high school. Every. Last. One. of us. So think about how hard it is being different and not being able to help it in HIGH SCHOOL? To be unable to just fit in because you have a slightly different perspective? I had always questioned the losers that harassed people for supposedly "being gay." Sometimes these people were, sometimes they weren't. But either way, what were they thinking? I think it would start as some kind of joke, but the more serious it got, the more they realized, "Wait dude, I think that guy/girl really might be gay," the less funny it became. If it ever was funny in the first place. Which it was not. The more they realized what was really going on, the more they felt like douche bags. And with good reason. I had vowed to stop saying "man, that's gay" consciously by the time I was about 13. Others had started to slowly ween themselves off of it by the time we graduated, hopefully realizing that not only did they seem homophobic and insulting, but also just strait up immature, the product of a conservative suburb full of kids who thought they were bad ass skateborders or NFL-bound football stars.
By the time I hit college, I had eradicated even the association of the pop term for 'stupid' from my mind. And luckily, most others had, too. College is like heaven in many ways. So many good things happen in college, and though you realize that life is hard and it only gets harder from there, you also begin to see that the world can be so completely beautiful when you aren't bound to anything. People seem to be more aware of other people and their feelings as they grow up. Any gay, racial, or socioeconomic slurs are pretty much gasped over. Appalling.
"How could you say that?"
"What were you thinking?"
"That was so rude and not okay."
Gay being used as a synonym for stupid was a thing of the past now. Even when I went back to work at summer camp, or to sub in middle schools, I rarely if ever heard the term. Perhaps everyone is becoming more aware as a whole. Maybe it's not something you grow out of, maybe the world is growing out of it together. That would be nice.
But then it happened.
At the beginning of my second year of college, I moved into a glorious new apartment. I invited one of my best friends, a gay dude (go figure), over to bask in the beauty that was my new, clean room, with everything moved in and put away and sparkling. My new roommate came in to chat and goof around with us when she said it. SHE SAID IT.
"That's gay."
She knew my friend was gay. She knew. And she STILL said it, like the word "gay" was tainted with gross. Like, whatever she was calling "gay" was the dumbest most preposterous thing she'd ever heard of.
Ice to her. Ice shoulders. Not just a cold shoulder. I'm. talking. ice. I was so outraged that I couldn't even process a proper course of action. I could've just said what I say to everyone else; "Gay is not a synonym for stupid." I could've embarrassed her a little and said, "Really? It is GAY? Is it really GAY?" until she felt like shit and apologized and got the hell out of my room.
But instead I just filled the air with ice crystals, making it so awkward and uncomfortable that she left, at which time, we promptly began talking shit about the mishap.
Case and point: "gay" as "stupid" is out, a thing of the past that I am humiliated to have ever participated in. It should have never existed. I am determined to publicly humiliate people when I catch them. I'll try to be gentle about it, like Hilary Duff, but chances are that I will just tear you to shreds. You have been warned.
Julia
No comments:
Post a Comment