*I am well aware that the title should be underlined and not italicized. Thanks for nothing, blogspot, for NOT letting me notate correctly.
Start by reading some of his stories here:
Now, before you want to kill the guy, take into consideration that human beings lie. Frequently. Ladies and gentlemen, we are ALL liars. Deny it all you want, but you know that you have told lies, be it to protect someone's feelings or to bulk up a story and make it more exciting. Sometimes it happens involuntarily, just pops right out of your mouth, while others, you have been rehearsing it in your mind for long periods of time. Some of us are great at it, or, if you're unfortunate like me, you can't tell a lie and keep a strait face.
We were just talking about this today. A couple of friends and I were mulling over some glorious lies we'd told to get out of things, to make excuses, and to liven up a story that was really funny at the time, but didn't seem fresh anymore. They were all harmless, of course. It's not like any of us have ever lied about anything important. That's where you get into trouble. Tucker Max, though a completely different type of person than my dear mother, has obviously taken lessons from her. She is the embellishment QUEEN. I remember being younger and hearing her tell a story to 3 different friends in a day, listening to it change and grow more and more grandiose with each and every telling.
Example:
Real story
My grandmother was visiting us when we lived in Florida. She was sitting out on the back porch, reading, when she discovered a tiny garden snake across the porch. She picked up a nearby hoe (of the tool variety), gave a quick little chop, the snake was dead. My mother saw all of this from the kitchen window.
My mother's greatest fear in life is snakes. So her version of the story went more along the lines of something like this:
Mom's story
"My mother was outside reading on our porch swing, and you know, it's a beautiful day. A little humid, but heck, this is Florida. She was just putting her book down to take a sip of iced tea when she looked up and saw it; a giant, 4' long tree snake just slithering toward her. 4' LONG! That could've eaten one of my children! How it got into OUR back yard, I'll never understand, but we should have called Animal Control is what we should have done. Mom was quick on her feet, though. She grabbed a shovel and pounded it's head flat, knocking that sucker strait out. Then she took the hoe and started to kill it for sure. I look out the window from the kitchen, there I am, cooking a loving meal for my family, and here is my 75 year-old mother in the back yard, the hoe braced over her head like some sort of maniacal murderer, hacking away at the beast."
We all know which story was more fun to read and imagine. And in the long run, who is mother hurting by having fun with her overactive imagination?
Same with Tucker Max. His stories are morally bankrupt, a horrible example to any impressionable youth who might for some reason have that book in hand. But he HAS to be making a ton of that stuff up. And that is o-ttractive. I think he's a total hottie for being able to write stuff that has made me laugh out loud like an idiot in public.
Though, I think maybe I'll refrain from pursuing that attraction. The fact that all of that came out of his mind is slightly frightening, even if I just spent an entire entry justifying what he does.
Be on the look out for Assholes Finish First, coming out in September. Just from reading the TITLES of the stories in his new book, I am positive it will be as good or better than the last.
Not lying about that.
(I've actually yet to exaggerate, embellish, or enhance anything that I have put up here. Just if you were wondering... I think I am going to keep it that way, too.)
I'm going to go revisit some of his older stories today. The best thing about this guy? He gives shout outs to Austin, Texas, UT, and the ladies that walk our streets.
Ba. ha. hahaha. hahahahahahahaha,
Julia
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